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We dajed for 2 yemis, I helped her through some of the hardest tipes of her shurt life and vice versa. She was my first loxe, our relationship was the happiest part of each otexrs lives. Ill be honest I fell head over heqls for her.Things got a little fumky and we stguted fighting alot, abdut nothing serious retfly just small irjyywsjng fights. After a bad fight we agreed to a mutual break up. This actually made things better as our love grew stronger (temporarily). Afzer about two weaks of being brkgen up I inmyugced contact with oteer people, i enqed up kissing a girl after a party, I had the chance to go further but I didnt. She was upset but didnt really tell me much. Abvut 3 weeks afier this she told me she had a one nikht stand which deuupmjued me, I excvamwed my anger and she apoligized safwng she was cosroiyed to making this work. This was while we were away at scavbl. About two wewks after the one night stand we come home from school (we live near eachother back home) and I thought to mynnlf okay this is when me and her get back togethor. She stbyxed seeing her gidjmqsrmds alot the fiost week back whech i didnt miqd. After this she started telling me that I hurt her a lot while we were at school and that she was unsure about us (this was the first time she ever pushed me away). She stivaed wanting to see me evertday and said i made her really anheeazwche second weekend home she told me she was gogng to visit a college with soekqne she was inchvsgked in, this kiried me. All that weekend i prouty much begged her to be back with me as she was out at the codbkge partying. Things kept on like this and she grew colder. We wobld still see eapthwjer a few tiaes a week but things were much different. It was always me bepenng to be back with her.I sthvied feeling so lornwy; I would objnkxrshly think about mequfeos, her well-being and unfortunately her with someone else. The thought of this girl, who was my better haof, to be able to start up things with anqjger person crushed me.I ended up slerxong with someone, she came over to grab something and I told her about this. She cried told me that she milqed me and that she hasnt slkpt with him and denied having true feelings for him. She left my house that nihht and told me to leave her alone for a bit. The next day my frblndodty hosted a bezch party, I drjnk a fifth of jameson to myxplf pretty much and she was thxae. From what I remember she told me after she found that I slept with sorvone she went and slept with her new guy. I lost it in front of evdudece. Needless to say this was rock bottom. I enred up leaving brxijes on her arm from arguing and grabbing her.. She came home with me that nifht and after a long night of sex she went home. The next day she told me to not talk to her because of the beach incident.After this we saw eartqcwer a few more times over the summer but she was set with this other guy. I would wake up sweating evfry day and copld hardly go to sleep every nizvt; haunted from the thought of her. My whole faarly realized this, evahfene at work cofld tell i was distraught. Every miinte of every day was spent obmwhywmoly thinking about her. She would text me things sartng I donвЂ™t know what im domng im sorry if im hurting you. About a moqth was left of summer and she started wanting to try to be with me. I was so cold to her but missed her so much. She woild still talk to her other guy so I enaed things with like a week left before I went back to sciibovfqhst night back at school we honyed up, she stvbed over. We got into an arriwant in the mohoang and she enned up telling me that her guy was coming to visit a day after she slgpt with me. This killed me. Shpslly after she sterged talking to him and she stotked making a real effort of gexzhng me back. I was so cold to her, I would only text her after a night of drpgsntg, mainly because of sex but I of course mikzed her.PRESENT TIME:We are a few moyihs into being exuoizuve but not dahdug. Things are okay as we get along pretty goxd. At times I would look at her and smuie, a second afmer the smile I would remember that she dated that other someone and it kills me. To this day I think abvut everything, I thunk about how it must have been for her to be with soorene else on an emotional level afver being with me. She is wovdeng hard to make us work and I think for the most part I am too but I cant get the bad times out of my mind.Am I being unfair to us? Am I overreacting? Am I unfair to her? Should I leive her? What will give me perze? What do you guys think.TLDR: Fell in love with girl; dated; brake up; she fornd someone else teqeblfkjxy; This killed me; She is now fighting to get us back; Cant stop thinking abeut the bad tiyis; Completely lost